Santa Claus conquers the martians...

...is an actual real movie. I saw it on SBS just before.

I haven't updated in awhile because my internet connection has done a runner on me, leaving only cryptic clues as to why it has done this to me. The wily bastard.

Merry Christmas everyone. Christmas may mean many things to different people, but it all boils down to this:

Today is a good day, because I have someone waiting for me

It's a christmas BBQ for me!

Anatomy of a Donkey Kong

I recently caught a small flick called King Kong, and it was epic.

But not in the sense that Peter jackson wanted. It spans. It's elongated. It's friggin 3 hours long. I know Mr Jackson has dreamed of remaking King Kong for how many Hobbit years he has been alive, but the man indulged hard. Hardcore hard. Triple X hard. It takes them 45 minutes to reach the island where Kong resides. "That's cool", I hear you say, "he's using that time to build up character". Poppycock! There is nearly zero character building. A love story is squeezed in for no purpose at all. You can all go ask Crackers bout a Ol'Jimmy, the character who is on the cusp of being something to the story. It's like Peter Jackson had to spend the wads of greenbacks they were throwing at him, so he spent it on random scenes he picked out of a (hobbit) hat.

The movie is good though. Not earth shattering but watchable. When we do actually get to see Kong (Crackers, at this point, wandered if King Kong was even in the movie), the pace picks ups for the better. P.J even shows echoes of his horror beginnings, with a gruesome giant insect scene. The special effects are top notch, except for one scene where the actors don't even look like they are in the same place with the dino's, who are "bowling pinning" around them. King Kong, though, is a stupendous success for the animators. He exudes so much character, for a thing that doesn't even talk. A lift of an eyebrow, the stunted laughter he emits. It's easy to like him, even when he's throwing people around like raggy dolls. He has real heart.

The story is a simple one: man's greed can destroy innocence. Anybody can understand it. Peter Jackson has made it more complicated than it should be. Simple story's don't like being complicated. It is a great story, with a very real message. If He left out the the first 45 mins, taken out the love story (between actress and writer), the movie would have benefited immensely. I would have liked it more.

Now, where's my remake of Donkey Kong?

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Today was my dad's birthday (20th of dec). He came and sat next to me and asked me, "Do you want anything? If you do, just ask me. I've got some money I've been saving". I said no and walked away to hide my face.

Silly dad.

All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. Without burdens. Without sadness. I wish could take care of you properly. I wish I could give you everything you ever wanted

Only the finest! mmm mmm mmm

So the market was a complete waste of time. People have awayed to their respective holiday destinations. No segue, just this:

Pimp names for everyone!
Thao = Pimptastic nguyen Jazz!!
Troy = Macktastic irwin Shmoove
Bryan = Funk Master cain Large
Ben = Bishop Don ben Silk
Lani = Papa paul Rockefeller
Crackers = Fine Ass J. Clinton
Flyboy = Crazy Eyes tate Gates
Fista = Master Fly rick Silk
Kateo = Devious Honey K. Dazzle
Brooke = Master Fly B. Large
Beccsta = Sheik R. Flava
Grug/Grieg = Mr. White Chocolate douglas Sneed/Devious Honey G. Rockefeller

Hmmm, I can't remember Mel's lastname. It's time we got names to fit our style.

Pimp Name Generator

Brace yourselves fooools!

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt some christmas shopping at the ol Market. This year my friends will not be receiving old dodgy cassette tapes as presents. More the fact that my cassette album collection was decimated, than my modest budget for this year.

And Quicky man, if your reading this, we have a great suprise for you. HARR HARR HARR HARR!

PS - I miss my Whitney Houston cassete album and cassingle. It was a time for her, before she lapped up the taste of the devil's dandruff.

I wanna dance with somebodee!
I wanna feel the heat with somebodeeee!

Immerse yourselves in supreme existential dance moves. The dance of the philosopher wunderkind!

Also, I dusted open my Pulp albums. 'This is Hardcore' is a great bloody song.

Then that goes in there. & then it's over. Oh, what a hell of a show
but what I want to know:
what exactly do you do for an encore? 'Cos this is Hardcore.

Lowbrow

Sometimes you just feel like someone has:



Remember to dress sexy at my funeral. Heh. I had to tie my arm to my body at the farm. Worked quite well. I'm tired and feel like I've been munging on rocks all day. Num num num.

Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow, Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here, It’ll be, better than before, Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.

I'm trying Fleetwood Mac, I'm trying!

(I'm actually looking for the cover of it by...someone. Heard it on the radio)

Mutiny in the sea!

My dad has gone and done something awful. He has agreed with my neighbour about fixing the fence between us. The quote came back as a stinging $500 each. It's not even the full side, it's just a portion. I suspect this fence is going to be made out of the blood of virgins...or something crazy like that. Mutiny! Also, since my had piles of useless junk sitting there, I had to spend all day moving them, piece by piece so the workers can get through. With one arm. My hurtin arm is tootin hurtin again cause of all that bending down. I've encountered about a billion spiders (one that looked like a redback?). Not good for an arachnaphobe. I feel like there is a 10 thousand legged spider crawling up my back. Shiver me timbers!

So tomorrow I think I might see if I can get a ride with my uncle to a farm. Make some quick cash, greenbacks, pineapples, lemons, breadsticks.

I recieved this text from Captain Oates, and if I finish in time, I'm hoofing it down there.

Can this text spread as well as the race riot ones did? Nonviolent protest against racist attacks Fri 16th 5pm Bourke St Mall. Spread this like wildfire.

It has come to the point where it is just not enough to be "not racist". We have to be anti-racist. Careless hate cannot be tolerated.

The trick is to not look like a dickhead

What the hell?

Why would you want to carry this around with your mobile phone?

A profound sadness

I am horrified at seeing comments from people like, "Go aussies! drive out the lebos. This is not their country"

It is sad when people don't see this for what it is. It's essentially just two groups of moronic young australians. It's not "aussies" versus the "Lebanese". It's Australians fighting Australians. Stupid, uneducated, Australians.

This is a terrible affair, perpetuated by gangs of bored, disaffected youths. They are drunk on power, and , sickingly think they have a purpose now.

And the soul aches underneath the wanton hate. The mind baulks at the madness.

Lost

Why are people so stupid?

The woo train

I
Am
The
Woo
Train

Wooooooo!!! woo wooooooooo! woo wooooooooo! woo woooooooo!


Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an
(Gaelic for: May the cat eat you, and may the cat be eaten by the devil)

The other Coppola

I'm a big fan of Sofia Coppola's work. Which really only amounts to two movies. "The Virgin Suicides" was a stunning debut for her. A sad, dream-like movie, with an awesome Air soundtrack. I was suprised I could stomach the storyline, considering the subject matter. It didn't effect me like I thought it would. The scene where the sisters are playing sad records over the phone to the next door neighbours always breaks my heart. I also enjoyed her second movie, "Lost in translation". I quiet, almost slow film, once again dealing with loneliness. The only bit I didn't really like was the "lip my stocking". Kinda stupid part. Once again, the soundtrack was great. And Scarlett Johansson is hot. ssssssssssss

I just saw the trailer to her 3rd feature film, based on the story of Marie Antoinette. A period film, that stars Kirsten Dunst (who I do not like, cept in "The Virgin Suicides") as the doomed queen. The strange thing about the trailer is that the song playing over it is a New Order song (one of my faves). You know, popular 80's pop band New Order. Can we say period piece with neo-pop sentimentalities? Somehow I sniff a trace of John Hughes in this trailer... wierd. Maybe it's the 80's looking title splash.

Anyway, here's the trailer (you'll need a fast internet connection)

Sofia Coppola is still a crap actor. Godfather III memories... gah!

Debbie does death penalty

I have to say that I'm opposed to the death penalty. People who advocate it always seem to ask questions similiar to this:

"What if someone murdered all your loved ones? Wouldn't you want that person punished with death?".

My answer would be yes. I would wish them to be punished with death.

But then, I would be thinking emotionally. I am human after all. Luckily no one has murdered my loved ones. My rational mind is horrified at what amounts to a controlled and sanctioned taking of a human life. I know there are evil people out there who undoubtably deserve to be punished. But I will not let emotions cloud my thoughts. It's as simple as this:

I will never agree to a taking of a human life. Never.

A waste

A friend asked me the other day my thoughts on the Van Nguyen case. It has certainly divided people in Australia. My simple answer is: He should not have been hanged. Some people believe that since he broke the law in Singapore, he should be punished by their laws. People say his package of heroin could potentially have killed many people. Potentially. I would have had no problems if the Singaporean Government locked him up, but to hang him is such a waste of life. Killing a drug courier will not even dent the drug trade. Drug barons are not quaking in their boots (and getting into escape pods). There will always be couriers. All they did was destroy a young life, that made a stupid mistake. In a world wrestling with hate, I would have thought intelligent people would advocate forgiveness. I guess I'm wrong. A life is wasted. He recieved no chance to redeem himself. A mother is left with a fleeting touch of her son's hand.

It's so fucken stupid. No parent should out live their children. How can people not value life?

Ding dong, the witch is...

Random fact #443

I once was scared of a cloud because it looked like a witch.

Watch me flip you off!

My arm moves! Although I won't be doing the hokey pokey anytime soon, I can atleast take it out of the sling.

New years has snuck up on me. Only 22 more days. or maybe I've missed it?

"Gah!" I said, "gah!"

Gah! I'm so tired. I hardly get any sleep during the week these days. I worry too much. But the weekend is my fortress of peace, so atleast I get good sleep there. I can't wait. Sychronise watches...now!

My brother has this awesome way of dealing with telemarketers. When he picks up the phone, and there's someone on the other side trying to sell him something, he sorta lets out some kind of battle cry (a sort of choked "gah"), and starts hitting the phone on the receiver. Then he hangs up. It's the coolest thing ever. If I can convince him to do it while wearing helicopter glasses and a flipped up collar, he'll have legions of fans.

She, with the red shoes, who loved paper cranes

I was too young to understand and deal with it all those years ago.
I understand now, but I still can't deal with it.

Your still dancing, in all my memories of you.

S.S
1982 - 1998

Soy bean revolution!

Can you spot the 74 band names, depicted in this great picture?

I've spotted:
Radiohead - Guy with stereo next to his head
Guns and Roses - Guns...and roses
Rolling Stones - The giant stones
Gorillaz - Gorillas
White Stripes - Stripes on road
50 cent - the half dollar coin
Crowded House - Although it's actually a crowded apartment, I think they meant Crowded House
White Zombie - Zombie on the left
Talking Heads - I think it's the heads on the TV's
Yellowman - The yellow...man.
Smashing Pumpkins - Guy smashing pumpkins
Scissor Sisters - The two pink scissers
B52's - The bombers in the sky
Led Zepplin - The zepplin
The beach Boys - Guys with surfboards
The postal service - The post guy putting letter in letterbox
Blind Melon - Melon with sunglasses
Greenday - The green mark on the calender
Lemonheads - The lemons with faces
Blur - out of focus guy on right
Queen - The queen
Sex pistols - The pistols the queen is holding are made out of dildo's
The Pixies - Those fairy looking things
The Black Crows - the Crows on the street sign
Manic Street Preachers - I think it's those guys wearing white, crossing the street
Garbage - the bin tipped over
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Next to the melons
Eminem - the scattered M&M's
Nine Inch Nails - Next to the M&M's...I think
The Dead Kennedy's - The posters on the wall
Seal - the seal poster
The Eagles - the eagles
The Eels - The eels on the ground
The Cars - the cars in the background (great 70's band)
The Doors - Maybe those 4 multi-coloured doors in the background
Hole - the hole on the ground



All I have for now. See if you can find some more.

The one-inch peace

Behold, Bruce Lee, bringer of peace to a divided people.
Apparently, some one has already stole his nunchukus...

That's the best pic I could find, Melsta.