:) :D One of us is different from the other

I stepped in. I had done this many times before. I extended my arm to push the button, displaying my uncanny ability to press the right floor number without even looking. Yes, I was in a lift and on my way to the 8th floor.
Up and up it went, a mechanical bullet barreling through the sky. I often would close my eyes and imagine myself as a secret agent, heading up to headquarters to celebrate my victory over evil terrorists…

The other day I got stuck inside a lift. One of the old lifts in the collingwood flats. I wasn't there too long though, only about 20 minutes at the most. It wasn't a defining moment like I hoped it would be. There was no blinding revelation. I didn't start calling a volley ball Wilson. There was little drama... Maybe there was panic. Some sprinkling of claustrophobia. Groucho Marx impersonations. Dying for a cigarette. Handstands (it's easy inside a mechanical beast). Kung Fu poses. Wailing air guitars.

…I heightened my senses to detect any sound or movement. What was that? A mouse? Cables snapping? Superman? Maybe this was a surprise party. Maybe my family and all my friends would jump out from their hiding positions and shout ‘SUPPLIES’ (in broken english) as the lights came on...

I love you all my lovelies. Let's all have mad sex. Together. Smiley face, grin.

I'm left numb, without the means of explanation

Would you understand when I say there's fire behind the mask?

Love takes you to the strangest places

But I never loved, I knew no better.

But you go willingly

Never willingly, oh never willingly. I never asked for this.

The gunshot and laughter is the last thing they remembered

I need mania. I need laughter and hammers. I need to see beautiful birds, wrestling in multi-coloured jelly. I need to hear small bells, sing lullaby's to the scared masses. I need the string section to play while I run on rooftops. I need to play the saxaphone like I'm putting in the Mortal Kombat blood code on the super nes. I need to throw electric guitars through buildings and taunt kids with guns. I need to be there for the crowning of the new prince of Bel-air. I need to explode onto the acting scene as a child in charming family movies, then a few years later fade from the public eye. I need to be shot into the sky to puncture the drums of the gods.

who is lost to the world, Stay Alive
January, February, March, April, May, I'm alive
June, July, August, September, October, I'm alive
November, December, yah all through the winter, I'm alive
I'm alive

I need help, but who will buy? And who will sell?

Bring da rum! Thar be wenches

It be i'rnational talk like ye pirate day ya wenches an landlubbers! Ye be wantin scurvy? *places right hand and cutlass* Sparrow ain't got shit on me

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

Cheesy pirate jokes ahoy cap'n.

"What does a pirate keep his money in?"

A JARRRRrrrggh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monster Mash RHRHRHHRHRHR

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

Oh I think I'm going crazy. The other day while walking on the track near Croydon swinny, I heard very loud opera singing. At first I though it was a doof head detox session, but it got louder and louder. Suddenly a giant man came over the hill singing opera songs at the tops of his lungs. I veered left to let him pass, in-case he started singing battle arias and wail on me with his battle axe. Man, I wish I was as happy as this guy. He was on top of his game. Had quite a good voice.

Nemo? COO COOOO COOO!

The other when I came home drunk, I made good on my promise to watch Finding Nemo before going to sleep. Only when I reached the credits, and wondered why the movie was over so fast, did I realize that I had been watching it at 2X fast forward with subtitles on.

When the hounds come around, I go to the bottle

As I walked into my room, I had the odd sensation of not recognising anything in it. I could not get comfortable on my futon. No manner of leaning could dispell the feeling of discomfort. Feet up, feet down, twisting and turning... I had realized, too late, that I had lurched into a party where I knew no one. I had a strange feeling that the memories associated with the rooms contents were not my own. And that these past stories were created before I was even there. I was a mere apparition of these past tunes. A silhouette, lingering on at the behest of demanding memories. A change of socks fixed everything.

So I tried to embarrass Ol'Stuntcock in front of his workmates while not getting kicked out of the pub. A balance of Ying and Yang baby! Spring breeds mayhem. I nearly got into a biffo in the toilets (which was diffused with liberal doses of the phrase "fuck off mate!") and was scared everytime a security guard walked towards me. I swear someone spiked my drink or something...

Congratulations to my fruity lover in getting engaged. I thought I dreamt it up in a drunken haze. Too bad I didn't get to catch up with you, Crackers and Mel. Somehow I imagine you doing the Hosey as your wedding dance...

Something like a phenomenon

Spring is here. And with it the good weather. And with the good weather, Thao gets the thirst. The overriding urge to slip into deck chairs, cut pants into shorts, spray paint vague slogans onto t-shirts, dust out the stubby holders, pop on Buena Vista Social Club and wolf whistle at pretty young things in polka dot dresses. We will sit around drinking port, smoke cigars and discuss Oscar Wilde. Oh the beautiful amber liquid will pour freely into glasses. Liquid sensual, raw and lively. Old ladies will be cheering my name from the 8 items or less line, throwing hands in the air like victims in a cop show.

Oh, I aim to get reckless.

But, most importantly, I finally get some proper work cranking.

Get your crunk on (that's right, I went there)

We were built to wah wah the empire

I've been meaning to post this.

I've started the ball rolling for my great escape. You can all start calling me the cooler king right now. Only time will reveal my subtle plan, or MI5 agents. Here's to not being here. Cheers yo!