An open challenge

A new challeneg for life. Hats off to anyone that can achieve it. You must have sex in cement that hasn't set yet. It will be fraught with danger, as you will never know when the cement will set (DANGER MAKES PEOPLE HORNY!). And once you're done, you'll have a nice outline of your bodies. Kinda like a "I waz 'ere" thing. Except you would be pointing out outlines of your mangler (or whatever you call your genitalia)

I can hear the children cry

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?"

Mahatma Gandhi

There is no right or wrong. Just suffering. The world mind buckles under the weight of it all.

Stranger, strange, I knew I knew you

I keep waking up with cuts on my body (mostly concetrated upon my back). Thin lines that snake down a couple of centimetres. And I don't know where (or remember where) I get them from. I don't sleep on a bed of pirate hooks. Nor do I wrestle with machete wielding lion kings. I don't even t-t-t-tangle with Freddy Krueger. But I see them in the morning. Not lions, cuts. And I'm terribly addicted to picking the scabs. Self mutilation to feed an addiction. Yes please?

I've been staring at my lamp for about 2 hours. Evidently, it took 672 times of turning the lamp on and off to blow my light bulb. Now there's a fact to pull a crowd. Tonight I go to see Death Cab for Cutie.

Sergeant Tom Croydon

I forgot to mention the police came before (at about 12:30am), but I don't think they wanted me this time. *wipes brow and continues snorting the burny*

Let me sleep Garfield, you sadistic demon!

Now, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead man's chest.

I would give the first one 4 out of 5 and this second one 3 out of 5.

It's a enjoyable movie and I did like it. The jokes are getting even more cheesy, but most work. Johnny Depp is still the star of the show, while Orlando "I'd rather be snorting elf cocaine" Bloom and Kiera "my acting consists of horse face" Knightley flounder about. The CG is quite nice. The action (although stretched) is fun to watch. But...

Way too long. And shoe horning in a "trilogy" is very noticeable. You can't set up a storyline, then leave EVERYTHING up in the air for the 3rd movie. I think Disney forgot that it was originally based on a ride, not some "epic" trilogy type franchise. The first movie was pure fun, it's appeal was that it took you on a great adventure without being too taxing plot wise. The only thing this movie did was get all the characters back together, using pretty flimsy premises. Norington! what are you doing in this drinking hole?(how convenient), Will and Eliz finding Jack very easily...etc And play on the Jack and Elizabeth attraction (which alot of fans wanted). You kinda feel cheated. For it's length, it's basically a movie that sets up the 3rd movie. 2 and a half hours of set-up, although fun in bits, is not cool. The main plot is no where near resolved, and they spring another major plot at the end. They should have made it more self contained (like the first movie) and still have that ending.

They tried to make Jack Sparrow heroic when he really was always an anti-hero that feels more comfortable looking after himself. Which is his appeal. He is a pirate afterall. Most of the trouble they get into is Jack's fault. Which makes that ending all the more strange. The return of a cerain character is nice, too bad we have to wait for number 3.

All in all, a decent if flawed sequel.

I was appalled to catch a trailer of a movie called "The Lake House". Appalled because it is a remake of a Korean drama called "Il Mare". Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. They look more like brother and sister than lovers. I'd rather watch 2 hours of Keanu Reeves snorting the burny. And they're remaking "My Sassy Girl" too. Bah, I say. Bah!

OFF TO MAKE SOME HONG KONGNESE MILK TEA~

I'M IN YOUR HOUSE, LICKING YOUR BITTER TEARS OFF YOUR FACE!

LICK LICK LICK LICK LICK!!!!

let it be known...

...That when I expire (Hard drive crash, RAM error, brain chip gone), I want to be lowered into a hole with molten liquid, with my thumb up in the air and a recording of my voice saying "I cannot self terminate".

you fart and cup it, and..."I've got the whole world, in mah hands!"

I'm furiously willing myself to get better. I've been sick all week and I need to get back to work. Everytime I cough it feels like punches are flying out of my mouth, like Cyclops from X-Men...except punches come out of his eyes.

Today I was annoyed by a door to door salesman that didn't know when to quit. He was spruiking his Electric company. Not what I want to see when cultists was invoking Cthulhu in my throat. "What!" I croaked. "Hi! Are you interested in changing your services to --- ---?". I couldn't find my Shakespeare quotation book so I couldn't recite him away. "No" I barked, or whispered. Used to that response, he pressed on with a spirited speech about the benefits of his company. "No thanks" I pushed, wanting him to gaze into my fist of dread, or maybe an arm to fall off Monty Python style. "I'm not interested. I'm happy with who I am with now". He still stood there poised to talk. Evidently he didn't know that evil white wizard Saruman was creating a race of the Superior Uruk-hai fighting orcs right there in the pits of my mouth. "Tell me what rates you are getting and we'll compare them to our rates" he droned, like a recording was tripped inside him. He was trying to buy more sand for his hourglass. "We'll compare them". He had his time. I looked up at him. "I'm going to eat you" I muttered, then pushed my glasses up.

"Pardon?"

....

"Nothing. I'm really sick. Come back next time."

This is not my beer Becc!

I've avoided writing in this blog. I put it off until I forgot about it. It's not that I don't want to write. It's more I don't want to write what I'm thinking. I sit down and the my stream of thought becomes dark and murky. Things can be misunderstood by any unfortunate reader. be calm sucker.

I must get this place up to scratch though.

My boy in Canada has safely arrived home, and I can't help but think that maybe everything's going to be alright after all. It's strange really, it feels like he hasn't left. Not to say that I haven't missed him, but he fits back into my life like a glove. He has changed, but it's still him. The boy I threw rocks at before we became friends. He's acquired an accent, and strays from an Aussie drawl to a Canadian swirling of words with an "r". He sometimes ends his sentences with "ey", which makes me wonder why I don't end my sentences with "jerk". Just, you know, slip it in there casual like. "So I was walking down the street...jerk" *grin* It's good to have you back Quicky.

June and July is national wallet voodoo months. It's when the person who has an effigy of my wallet is stabbing it with pins and reciting curses. Every week is a fucken birthday, and my wallet cries tears of pure dollars. But it sure is fun. The most recent was Flyboy's, where we got hopped up on cocktails. Cheaps cocktails have a tendency to not make you feel effeminate. Especially when you buy 6 at once. And there were no security so no danger of getting ejected by people who's name could only possibly be Big Bertha, be it male or female. We worked out the proper way for a straight male to hug another straight male. You hug normally, but you pat them on the back 3 times. Then, optionally, you can seperate and add in some killer handshake moves. Then Flyboy dropped his pants twice, so it was only a matter of time before we got kicked out of the new club. Aren't birthdays great?

The night ended with me and Flyboy skolling Straight vodka, goonbag (Baysy briefcase) and chasing it with a redback beer, because we couldn't find Flyboy's beer. Cue morning when we sat around drinking tea watching a mechanical toy penguin waddle around a table for 2 to 4 minutes.

The World Cup is winding down and I'm saddened to see it go. Another 4 years :( Fuck you

I need to get back into this writing jobby.