Spent, recovering

I didn't get any sleep last night. All this talk about people going overseas for a year or two has really depressed me. It's a funny thing when you can see your future. Even funnier when you realize you'll be doing much the same thing as your doing right now, for years and years. It's like your stuck on the same juttering millisecond of existence, forced to do the same things over and over and over again. You see it, stretching out before your mind. Like focusing on blurry visions of momentarily paused freeze frames. The shell of a creature hovering on a train going particularly nowhere. Repetitious and frustrating. You can't help but just laugh at it all.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone"

I just want to leave. But I'm gonna be stuck here unless something happens