Songs in the key of HP Lovecraft

Post in the style of HP Lovecraft!:
This damnable journal is the last testament of my accursed existence. I, Thao Nguyen, am no more. He comes for me. The dark one, he hungers for fulfillment. The demon horns are sounding, but he will not find a willing particapent. An empty shell awaits him, I having cast myself into the oblivion behind the cupboard.

I leave this, only to impart certain truths and facts, to whoever has the misfortune of this knowledge. What can be said of what I've seen? Out of the night, it emerged, dark wings limping in and out of sight. Whispers, through the corridors speak of dark odious happenings. I sit for hours, crazed, delirious, turning inwards, as it sits in the corner of the room. A gibbering degenerate DVD. A gift, a gift. From one's who have tread the empty night. My colleagues deny it's existence. They maintain that I am overworked, tired.

Perhaps I am. My mind is cluttered with memories and crazed screaming.

My fate is near. Something is stirring behind my door. I hear. I smell. It is maddening! My god, Rocky Jones Space Ranger! You shall not have me! Oblivion will claim me now!

Alright, I kinda fudged that. My friends, Captain Oates and Flyboy, sent me this from Adelaide. It looks like the epicenter of cheese. The monument of Cheese town. The cheesiest of the cheese, the illest of the ill. It is golden. Haven't had the chance to watch it yet though. It also came with a card that reads "For your kitchen tea"..... eh? These crazy Adelaidians and their kitchen tea cards.. Thanks for the present! I don't deserve these lavish gestures.

A chinese author has written a love story completely in code. Hu Wenliang says he will reward the person that decodes his novel. I bet it's a dud.

Never, ever, get caught by the police while wearing something like this. He doesn't look too worried about it though. Not stoked, but still not fussed.

When it's spring again, I might make something like this. A lawn couch. It looks the biz. Chicks dig lawn furniture, right? right!?

Most shockwave things are pretty shite. But this ain't. It's some sort of music machine, where you arrange parts for the jelly beans to flow through, which creates music. Beautiful and engaging. Oprah gave it 4 stars (and then ate lots of bacon). Maybe. Sorta. I dunno.

I'm going to some super hero costume party later tonight. I probably won't dress up though. I'm not cool :( Unless there is a hero called "Jumper man". His super power would be to keep fricken warm under layers of jumpers. Day-um, what a cool kat...

Next post! Give me a beat, cause it's gonna be Jane Austen post!! hold up, hold up.... Village with the longest name in Britain.