In Soviet Russia, stories tell you

Everyone knows someone who does it. Those people who must beat you no matter what. They usually come in the form of the storyteller. For example, you may tell the person a story about your friend chasing a bag snatcher (props to you Crackers) and that person will come out with a story that 'trumps' it, saying that he/she once chased a murderer throught the dark alleys while naked. I met someone of the 'two shits' (When you mention that you've just taken a shit, they'll say they took two) persuasion today. Constantly droning on about drunken exploits and acrobatic skull duggery. After awhile, his 'stories' merged into a single looping voice saying "I'm a tool, I'm a tool I'm a tool..."
Oh yeh, he was also "stepping on ducks all day" (read: farting). Not good when your stuck in a small-ish room with a small window for fresh air, frantically hangin on to whatever sanity you have left..

Hmm I'l add more to this post later....maybe with stories that idiot told me.

Oh, Captain Oates, you have found my secret stash of "Thao Nguyen Pharmacy's". The shame of it all.... :P