The darkside has mad scratching skills..

Woke up at 2pm, looking like a madman. Hair, flying around without my written consent. Mouth tastes like a cat shat in my mouth. I don't even own a fucken cat..
I MUST get this tee for my dad!! My garden fiend of a dad, needs appropriate uniform. Apart from gardening, Darth Vader (Aneeeeee!!) enjoys scratching. Is the darkside, eastside or westside??
Here's something to make Crackers shout out in glee. Enjoy 40 candles?? Off to cook now