Is Thao Nguyen gonna have to choke a bitch?

I hear talk of "Australian values" all the time. Our politicians endlessly spin these notions into their speeches ad nauseum. Recently our Finance Minister, Peter Costello, caused controversy for basically making an ultimatum to migrants, accept "Australian values" or leave.

One problem there Ol'Costello pants, what the hell is Australian values?

If it's this "mateship" you all harp on about, or looking this tolerence for other cultures... well, Mr Costello, I can tell you right now that those values are basic human values. They are not Aussie specific.

If it's beer, footy, singlets, thongs, utes, cricket and meat pies... then it's cliches and stereotypes you want. They are not values.

So tell me, how do I become a true Australian citizen? Where do I sign up to learn these mythical values?

(I know what you meant Mr Costello, but your vague and heavy handed comments are bullshit)