You are suffering from the German sickness of Lederholden Ach ze Tung!

"It's alright" said the nurse, like a pilot of an airplane that had only one engine and it was on fire, "Your mother is fine"

My mum was just just discharged out of the hospital. I had been trying to get her discharged for my sister's engagement shindig all through the weekend. Unfortunately it was Easter weekend and I was told I needed the doctor on her case to discharge. So she missed out on the party.

Liars.

When I did get to see the doctor and told her what happened, she mentioned that any doctor could have discharged her. Infact she herself was supposed to discharge her before she went on holidays.

I tried to spit fire out of my eyes. Suprisingly, they would not comply with my wishes. I would have to have a chat with my eyes some day. Growling didn't work either. I nearly choked trying. Then there was a moment that was a cross between a pregnant pause and a silent samba (And somewhere out there, a middle aged man was attempting to do the Cha-cha-cha underwater. Somekind of mid-life crisis). She had recognised my anger. It seems I was messing with a veteran in recognising obvious anger. Some kind of Homo-superior with uneven shoulders. She tried to smile and frown at the same time. Which, as we all know, just makes you look like you are regretting that curry and sushi for lunch. It looks painful, and often makes you wonder if Ghengis Khan pulled that same face, just before he screamed his battle cry and led 10,000 hairy men on horses down a hill.

Unfortunately I was forced to shoot the helpless doctor out of a cannon, and into a box of Rove McManus jokes. I then abused her in German and sped off in a decommisioned Panzer tank.