Rolling with Jane Austen, foo

When I was younger, my sister used to force me to read Jane Austen books with her. So I am unfortunate enough to know a fuckload of those novels. I know to use 'Persuasion' to line my walls to keep in the heat, and Pride and Prejudice to get the fire started. 'Sense and Sensibility' should be used (instead of 'Emma') if you find yourself short on toilet paper, only because it is the only 18th century novel that feels like 3 ply. 'Emma' is only good for preserving meat, or maybe as a source for serial killers to cut out letters so they can write their creepy letters. After saying all that though, I don't mind the novels. Who doesn't like to read about smouldering glares from across the ball room? Pompous language that holds back the swelling of emotions that these protaganists try to hold back. Dry, "I-can-sand-the-edges-of-highschool-woodwork-projects", wit. Class-less women, hoisted by parents towards the Bingley's, and the Darcy's, and the Wick's... gentleman that fell asleep years ago.

When I first read these novels (or heard my sister read them) I, unfortunately, started to emulate the way of speaking. It still happens today (to an extent) when I read my 18th century mystery/thrillers. I get a desire to ride horses across fields, and call on eligible young women to join me at my castle. Ancient speech pops into my head. I really don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's because I just watched the most recent cinema adaption of Pride and Prejudice. The novel aped by Bridget Jones and her diarys. If I had to sum it up in a couple of seconds? Pretty good. I didn't even mind Keira 'Horse face neigh neigh' Knightly. Seriously, Knightly has 2 expressions. Her normal face, and her 'emotion' face, which consists of her looking like she just smelled her own flatulence.

Yes. I'm re-reading Pride and Prejudice right now. To balance it out, and regain some of my manliness mojo, I will leave my internet downloading porn in the background.

Damn you Mav the stealth, poker shark. Don't you know I'm God of Gambler? and possibly loco?